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Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Dying? Been There, Done That

Spring is in the air. Sigh. It’s a good thing and I welcome it. But what I find winding through my head in the spring is different from what I imagine the rest of world consider. While others are longing for the longer days, the scent of blooming flowers and opening the windows to welcome fresh air…I tend to find myself looking out at the sea and wondering why I am still here.

You see, I nearly left this world five years ago, in 2007. The year I tried to die.

It’s called sudden cardiac death and if I hadn’t had an attentive husband listening to me breath that night in April, I’d be gone. He hauled me out of bed and that Boy Scout CPR class of 30+ years ago came in handy. Between his efforts and then the EMTs, I woke three days later, totally mystified regarding what the hell happened.

As I consider it all now, I understand the physical aspects what happened was an electrical malfunction that so far has proven impossible to diagnose.

And trust me, not knowing isn’t exactly a comfort most of the time. What I do take comfort in is this: Almost dying kicked my ass in a good way. It woke me up. It, and a very good therapist, made me accept that submitting to a publisher and being rejected wasn’t going to kill me. (HA! I’d already faced death and after that…what was a rejection letter!?)

So, nearly dying saw me pull myself out of the deep pit of fear I lived in and begin submitting. I spent the first anniversary of my sudden cardiac death at a my first writer’s conference. I spent the next anniversary coming home from my second writer’s conference, having pitched and received requests. I spent my third walking about Columbus, OH, after pitching to an agent who two months later asked to represent me. I spent my fourth anniversary sitting at a book fair, signing my book.

My fifth? Well, I’ll be home from a writing conference, six books published.

Yup, I kicked fear’s butt.

Yet, spring still makes me wonder… I now have a device implanted in my chest that takes the pressure off those around me. Even without a former Boy Scout nearby, my interio cardio defibrillator will throw an electrical charge at my heart if it tries to act up again.

But once you’ve had the world yanked out from underneath you, it’s hard not look around and wonder…can it happen again? I believe in second chances and that the universe wants us to succeed. Nearly dying set me on a rocket to the stars. I don’t want the universe to ever look at me and think, “She needs another kick in the ass.”

I light the fuse of my own rockets now.

I’m Maureen O. Betita and I danced with death. It wasn’t any fun. But what I write is fun. Adventures for everyone!


Bosun Janey knows who and what she is. A pirate. And a damned good one at that. Living a life of excitement, adventure, and sailing the seas of the Kraken’s Caribbean is enough for her. But when the Quill is stuck in dry dock, Janey is left to search for distraction along Tortuga’s waterfront. How does a pirate occupy herself? Certainly not by making friends with a six-year-old boy or mooning after the boy’s father. That’s not how a pirate behaves!

Widower Benjamin Silvestri arrived in Tortuga seeking a fresh start. At first, the pirate haven doesn’t seem like a safe sanctuary for second chances, but life is full of surprises. The sun breathes life into his little boy, and new freedoms help his errant niece embrace her true nature. And then there's Janey. A pirate and most unconventional woman, she stirs feelings in Benjamin that are far from proper.

But who’s to say what is proper in Tortuga? Before he and Janey can explore the possibilities, Benjamin's son and niece disappear onto the high seas. Together, the couple set out to rescue them—because only a loving father and a cut-throat pirate stand a chance against the dangers of The Pirate Circus.

What fear holds you back and what would you do, what could you do, if you let it go? Photobucket


Maureen said...

Thanks so much for hosting me!

Maureen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debby said...

Interesting post. The only fear that hold me back is my allergies. There are times I have to back off from doing some things.
debby236 at gmail dot com

Barbara E. said...

I was always afraid to change jobs, so I stayed in the same one for over 30 years, even transferring to the same company when I moved across the country. One day, after getting the push that made me take a hard look at what was going on and realizing how unhappy I was, I took the plunge and accepted a lay off. It took me six months to find another job, but it is a fantastic one, with better pay, great benefits and wonderful people. I'm so happy I didn't let my fear stop me from making a change.