The big issue of the day with editors, as far as I can determine, is POINT OF VIEW (POV for short) with capital letters. I've been writing a number of years and published in romance/women's fiction for fifteen years, on and off (mostly the latter). And until last year I honestly thought the two were synonymous. Then to my everlasting sorrow, I learned that some very strict guidelines apply to romance that separate it from women's fiction. And the greatest of these is (drum roll here) POINT OF VIEW.
A romance shall have no more than two points of view, those of the hero and heroine. And they shall not be in the same scene and depending on the editor's POV, maybe not even be allowed in the same chapter. If an unlearned author describes the thoughts and/or feelings of both H&H in the same scene, this unforgivable sin is labeled as head hopping. And being labeled with the derogatory term of headhopper is synonymous with being an amateur.
I must have a higher opinion than romance publishers of the intelligence of their readers. I believe them quite capable of figuring out whose thoughts the writer is revealing at any given time. And I think that most readers, like myself, can relate to the emotions of more than one character in a given scene. For me, at least, it enriches the story, to experience the scene from more than a single point of view.
Head hopping seems to have become the current buzz word for any story or article that doesn't confine itself to one subject. RWA President Diane Pershing in the April, 2009 issue of Romance Writers Report (RWR) said apologetically that she would head hop in her message to the members in that issue. And I personally found her message with varying themes interesting and easy to follow.
Apparently having more than one POV has not always been a cardinal sin. A friend loaned me The Gift by Nora Roberts last Christmas. It contained two short novels and was published in 2004 by Silhouette Books: Home for Christmas, 1986 and All I Want for Christmas, 1994. I read part way through the first story before I suddenly realized that I was hopping from one character's head to the other, often in two adjacent sentences. What a shock to learn that the undisputed Queen of Romance was a head hopper. I haven't read Nora lately so maybe she has abandoned this vice in all her latest books. But I sincerely hope not.
I thought about my discovery all through the holidays and came to this conclusion. The issue shouldn't be whether to hop or not to hop but how to hop seamlessly so that the reader is not even aware of it. For I believe if POV is used with subtle skill, it will enrich the story and involve the reader more deeply. If it's good enough for Nora, it's good enough for an amateur like me.
I have had recent editors who would not allow head hopping. I respect them as excellent editors and consider them friends. And although I didn't agree with their POV, I revised my manuscripts to fit their guidelines (when in Rome……..) because I owed that courtesy to them and the publisher. I also have had recent editors who have no problem with my head hopping scenes and I am thankful for them. Which way are my stories better? I think there may be more than one POV on the answer.
To conclude, I am going to give you two versions of the same scene from one of my recently released books. This is the most blatant scene of head hopping I've ever written. I'd really like to know which way seems best to you. So please give me your POV on POV and I may be convinced to change my own POV!
Joanna and Pete meet again after many years at their high school reunion.
Scene One: Example 1
Joanna was aware of Pete as if he were seated beside her. She went through the motions of eating while her mind absorbed the information she had just learned. Betsy had married Walt DeBolt, forsaking her dreams of moving to a big city. While she, who dreamed of always living in Greenville with Pete, had left and never returned until now. She formed and discarded a hundred ways to say hello to him. Finally as the meal ended, she simply stood and walked toward the front.
Pete was shaking hands with the minister and thanking him for coming when Joanna
approached. Leaving his sentence unfinished, he came to meet her.
“Hello, Joanna.” He reached to take her hand,paused, then bent to brush her cheek.
Warmth traveled with the speed of light from hand to cheek as flesh touched flesh for one briefmoment and left a star-struck girl longing for more.
Standing close enough to feel his breath on her forehead, Joanna answered softly, “Hello,Pete.”
“You're as pretty as you ever were.”
“Thank you, Pete.” His eyes were the same steel blue and she thought he had never looked more handsome. But she didn't know how to say that without sounding intimate.
Scene One: Example 2
The room was rapidly filling and people moving past blocked her view of the front. Then Pete was tapping the microphone and greeting the graduates and Joanna closed her eyes to shut out all distraction to the sound of his familiar voice.
"Good evening, graduates, and welcome to this final reunion in honor of the old Greenville High School." Somewhere out there in that sea of faces Joanna was watching, listening. His hands felt clammy holding the mike. "Tonight is the result of weeks of planning and work by an excellent committee who graduated in my class, and I've promised not to say how many years ago that was."
Waiting for the laughter to stop, Pete scanned the crowd. He didn't see her. What if he was looking at her and not recognizing her? When the room grew quiet, he introduced Betsy, Vada, and Thelma who were seated beside him at the table, then asked for a round of applause. He thanked the Home Ec. class and other students who had helped. He introduced the Board members and mentioned the building of the new school, all the while thinking about Joanna. Finally he asked the town's current Protestant minister to bless the food and sat down.
"Have you seen Joanna?" Betsy whispered as they were served.
He shook his head. "Have you?"
"No, but Vada saw her when she came in."
He chewed, swallowed, drank, spoke when spoken to and was totally oblivious to everything but the certain knowledge that Joanna was in this room.
Joanna had not been able to see Pete since he sat down but she was as much aware of him as if he were seated beside her. She went through the motions of eating while her mind formed and discarded a hundred ways to say hello. Finally as the meal ended, she simply stood up and walked toward the front. Betsy saw her weaving between clusters of classmates forming and rushed to meet her.
Hugging her fiercely, she said, laughing, "Oh, God, Joanna Flemming. You're really here. I can't believe it."
"I can't believe it either, Bets. We must be dreaming."
Pete was shaking hands with the minister and thanking him for coming when he saw Betsy rush through the crowd and knew she had found Joanna even before he saw her. Leaving his sentence unfinished, he walked toward her. She looked up as he approached and he would have walked a thousand miles for the smile that lighted her face.
"Hello, Joanna." What else was he going to say? He took her hand and knew it wasn't enough. With an oddly awkward gesture, he pulled her closer and brushed her cheek.
Still standing close enough to feel his breath on her forehead, Joanna answered softly, "Hello, Pete."
He looked into her uplifted face, her warm brown eyes, and his tongue seemed to stick to the roof of his mouth. Finally he croaked like a lovestruck adolescent, "You're as pretty as you ever were."
"Thank you, Pete." His eyes were the same steel blue and his suit reflected the color in them and she thought he had never looked more handsome but she didn't know how to say that without sounding too intimate.
Later in the evening, they finally have a chance to be together:
Scene Two: Example 1
The song ended and the band segued into a slower beat.
“Will you dance with me, Joanna?” Pete asked, from behind her.
Wordlessly, she turned and accepted his hand. He put his arm around her waist, her arm slid automatically to his broad shoulder and time and place became meaningless.
“I like your dress. Reminds me of what you were wearing the night of our graduation.” He smiled at her.
She smiled back. “I'm surprised you remembered. That was a long time ago.”
“I've never forgotten...anything about that night.”
“Nor I,” she told him truthfully.
They danced in silence, each acutely aware of the other in every step they took together, in every place their bodies touched.
“I've missed you, Joanna.” Her name was a caress on his tongue.
“Don't,” she said, feeling the pleasure-pain in every cell in her body.
“Have you missed me?”
“I've missed you.”
“Why didn't you answer my letters?”
She drew a quick breath as she thought of finding Pete's letters in a locked drawer in her father's study after his sudden death. Letters with a familiar looped scrawl that bore foreign stamps,now faded with time. She felt again the sharp pain his words of love and promise had brought.
The frustration that caused her to pound her father's immaculate desk in a screaming rage that bruised her doubled fists.
“It doesn't matter now.”
“Maybe not.” His words sounded unconvinced.
The night, the music, the man who held her seemed unreal to Joanna but the intense aching inside was very real.
The band began to play a haunting tune.
“Joanna.” His voice was muffled against her ear. She looked at him and saw his longing. “Let's get out of here.”
She nodded wordlessly. Yesterday was gone and who could know what tomorrow would hold?
But she had tonight. She was here with Pete again and there was magic between them as there had always been. She wouldn't think about consequences now. Just for tonight, she would listen to her heart instead of her head.
“Come on.” Still holding her hand, he led her across the crowded floor and out to the dark lot where his car was parked.
In the shadows of the gnarled pear tree, he gathered her into his arms and kissed her without restraint.
It was graduation night all over again. Blooms of silver-white formed a scented canopy that enclosed their moonlit world. Tomorrow Pete would be gone; there was only tonight. How could she tell him how much she loved him when words were not enough? Of its own volition her body found a way.
The long kiss ended. In the awed silence that followed, they held each other once again, the long undreamed of separation over.
Scene two: Example 2
He met Boyd and Joanna on their way back to the table. "Will you dance with me, Joanna?"
Wordlessly, she accepted his hand and he led her back into the crowd. He put his arms around her waist, her arms slid automatically to encircle his neck. They began to move together and time and place became as meaningless as all the other faces in the room.
"I like your dress. Reminds me of what you were wearing the night of our graduation." He smiled at her.
She smiled back. "I'm surprised you remembered. That was a long time ago."
"I've never forgotten . . . anything about that night."
"Nor I," she told him truthfully.
They danced in silence, each acutely aware of the other in every step they took together, in every place their bodies touched. The music changed to the Beatles and LET IT BE and Pete unconsciously pulled her closer.
"I've missed you, Joanna." Her name was a caress on his tongue.
"Don't," she said, feeling the pleasure-pain in every cell in her body.
"Have you missed me?" He couldn't have stopped the words if he'd wanted to.
Their eyes met and he knew the answer before she spoke. "I've missed you."
"Why didn't you answer my letters?" he asked the question that had haunted him all these years.
Why hadn't she realized he would want to know? "It doesn't matter now."
"Maybe not." His words sounded unconvinced but he let it go and concentrated on the way it felt to hold Joanna in his arms again. What mattered was that right now he was feeling the strongest desire he had ever known for a woman.
The night, the music, the man who held her seemed unreal to Joanna but the intense aching inside her was very real. She felt as if she were going to suffocate.
The band began to play ARE YOU LONESOME TONGIHT?" and Pete listened to the words Elvis was singing, really listened. "Joanna," his voice was muffled against her ear. She raised her head and looked at him and he saw his longing mirrored. "Let's get out of here."
As he guided her toward the back door of the gym they bumped into other people but no one in the raucous crowd seemed to notice. "Come on." He led her around the old school and to the dark lot where his car was parked.
In the shadows of the gnarled pear tree, he gathered her into his arms and kissed her without restraint.
It was graduation night all over again and he was leaving the girl he loved, the girl he intended one day to marry. His mouth imprinted that promise on hers as he pulled her close, memorizing every line of her body pressed against him.
Blooms of silver-white formed a scented canopy that enclosed their moonlit world. Tomorrow Pete would be gone; there was only tonight. How could she tell him how much she loved him when words were not enough? Of its own volition her body found a way.
The long kiss ended. In the awed silence that followed, they held each other once again, the long undreamed of separation over.
Linda's Awe-Struck Publishing books include Single Status, available as an e-book and in print and The Twelve Days of Christmas, an ebook. Her first published historical will be available in 2010.













