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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

GUEST BLOG: LAURIE RYAN

The End

Each time I type those words, I always take a few moments to imagine my characters ten, fifteen, even thirty years later. It may not relate directly to the “happily-ever-after” of the novel. Still, there’s a real satisfaction in seeing that hero and heroine still committed to their marriage after the passage of time.

For instance, take Claire and Dion from my recent release, Stolen Treasures. She’s stubborn and tired of taking orders and he’s quiet, but used to having his orders followed. Thirty years from now, I guarantee you that Dion does what Claire wants without argument. And Claire doesn’t ask for something that she knows Dion wouldn’t want to do.

Recently, I attended a family bridal shower. One of the things we were asked to do was write some words of wisdom on making a marriage last. Do you have a suggestion to add? What I wrote will probably never make it into a romance novel. Yet anyone who has been with their partner in life for more than a few years will relate. For my husband AND myself, the secret to longevity, IMHO, is this:

Being able to listen to the same story over and over…and over again and make it seem each time like it’s the first time you’ve heard it.

I may weave new stories into books, but my past life is static and so is my husband’s. Yet we still (mostly) enjoy discussing them, laughing over our mistakes and reveling in our growth.

So whether the romance in your life (or in your books) has been around for years or is a budding promise of the future, remember how important the stories are. And, if you can, write them down. It might just make a great novel.

Laurie Ryan lives in the Pacific Northwest with her sexy he-can-fix-anything husband and their gray tabby, Dude. When not writing, she enjoys scrap booking and long walks, rain or shine. And especially, curling up with a good book and a cup of cocoa on a cold winter’s day.

Stolen Treasures is a story about two people who are destined to capture each other’s heart as they chase after a band of modern day pirates.

Stolen Treasures is available at: http://www.bookstrand.com/node/805444.

You can learn more about Laurie on her website: http://www.laurieryanauthor.com/index.html

18 comments:

Lucy Monroe said...

Great blog, Laurie! My advice? If you want to be married to a romance hero, act like a heroine! No joke. Believe the best, encourage, adore (yes, *adore*), expect the best, give the best and above all, love over everything every day, no exceptions. But when he needs a swift mental kick, don't be afraid to give it and when you get mad, let him know without namby-pamby passive-aggressive behavior. No relationship is perfect, or without conflict, it's how you handle the conflict that makes it work - or not. :)

LDee said...

Hi Laurie,
I think keeping fun in a relationship is what works for us. The more we find to laugh about the better and when I need a kick I think back to how I felt when I first met him and pretend. The things I say and do now are not what I would have done back then when I was trying to get him to notice me.

Have fun at the Canyon today.
Lavada

Julia Barrett said...

Love your bridal shower story! That's one of the secrets to a good marriage! Great interview!

Chassily Wakefield said...

Hi, Laurie! Date Night is one of the key components for us. We love our kids dearly, and we spent many years not going anywhere or doing anything unless it was as a family. We still do a lot of things all together, but now that the kids are older, we're able to go out on our own once in a while, and it's GREAT. It reminds us why we chose to be together and start a family in the first place, and we get to focus 100% on each other for a few hours a week.

Hope you're having a great time at the Canyon!!

Susan said...

Bless you, Laurie, for having the experience to write about what makes a lasting relationship. :))

Jan Bowles said...

Loved your blog Laurie.

Isn't it funny how two people over the years, end up thinking like each other. Or maybe it is because we think so alike that that is the reason we are still together?

In the end we feel so comfortable with each other. We are almost like the same person. Two halves joined together to make a perfect whole.

Best Wishes

Jan

Have a great time in the Grand Canyon.

Anthea Lawson said...

My advice would be to make sure and do things together! Not just fun stuff, but the hard things, like taking turns with the baby at night, or digging up the busted water main, or, heck, even writing romance novels together! (grin)

Kimberly Fisk said...

What a wonderful blog, Laurie. How fun to read everyone's advice. And I love the bridal shower idea!!

I'm not sure what advice I'd give to a new bride. I've learned so many things over the many years I've been married. I guess it would be to love with everything you have. Forgive even when it's hard. Find joy in the small things. Oh, and never say "you shouldn't have" when he brings you flowers. :)

Laurie Ryan said...

Lucy,

I LOVE what you said. "If you want to be married to a hero, act like a heroine." I am SO going to make that my mantra Thanks for stopping by.

Laurie Ryan said...

LDee,

I totally agree. Laughter is so important in a relationship. My work in progress has two fun loving people who definitely love to laugh. Of course, that doesn't keep them from getting into trouble. :)

Laurie Ryan said...

Julia,
Hey, it's great to see you here. Thanks for commenting.

Laurie Ryan said...

Chassily,
Date night is another great idea to keep a marriage, um, hot. :) I think I'm going to write these ideas down for my niece. There's a lot of good ones here. Thanks for stopping by.

Laurie Ryan said...

Susan,
Hi! Thanks for stopping by. I'm very lucky to have my hero for a husband. And just enough experience to pass it on. But not too much. There's still things I want to learn. :)

Laurie Ryan said...

Hey, Jan, what's up? There have been many times that my husband or I finish each other's sentences. Or, eve spookier, each other's thoughts. There's a great comfort in that. Thanks for stopping by.

Laurie Ryan said...

Anthea,
You are so right. Doing things together is important. Especially the not so great stuff. You, though, take doing things together to a whole new level. I admire the fact that you are a husband/wife writing team. Wow! Thanks for stopping by.

Laurie Ryan said...

Kim,
Forgive even when it's hard. WONDERFUL advice. I'm going to pass all these suggestions along to my niece. Thanks to you, Kim, and to all of you for stopping by today.

Theresa Scott said...

What a great topic, Laurie! I love the thoughtfulness of it. We do need advice on how to make a relationship last...I think your niece will do well with all these suggestions. I'll add one more: an acceptance of change. Two people in a relationship will grow at different rates and at different times and about different events. I think we need to have a tolerance and understanding that we all change over time, and to make room for it in our relationship.

Laurie Ryan said...

Theresa,
What an excellent suggestion. Acceptance of change. Both physical and spiritual growth wise. Thanks for posting!